Managing regrets
Many of us live in the past and continue to be haunted by our mistakes in the past. When we look back, we wish that we could have done better. This feeling of hoping to correct mistakes in the past is known as regret. Regrets help human beings get better at decision-making by understanding the consequences of their actions in the past. These regrets need to be managed well, otherwise, folks can lose sleep and destroy their current and future prospects. In a study published in 2008, the top 6 most common regrets are in the areas of education, career, romance, parenting, the self, and leisure. Interestingly, people may regret the lack of action than the wrong action. I have a few friends who did not invest in Tesla stock when it just launched, and now when they look back on Tesla stock growth, they regret not having invested. Many of my work colleagues also regret for not joining Apple, Microsoft, and Amazon when they just started. I personally regret having some good employees let go even though they were good, but the company’s financial situation was not good.
It’s normal to experience regrets, but we don’t need to get overwhelmed by them. Some people say, “I have no regrets”, but that’s just going through a period of denial before regrets start haunting you again. Here are some proven techniques to deal with regret.
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List down the regrets. Writing down the list helps you empty your mind. The human mind has an amazing ability to think when we write down things. A lot of things become clear as you write down the things
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Read each regret, and evaluate the past situation and consequence. Acknowledge the feeling of regret. Do not over exaggerate the consequence. Let’s say you might have hurt your friend’s feelings, but acknowledge the fact that it did not destroy his/her life.
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Take action: Fix your regret if possible, Call that friend, amend the situation and move on.
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Move on: Not all regrets are fixable. For instance, failing to complete graduation, losing good job opportunities, and losing money can not be changed. You can not make amendments with friends or family members who no longer live in this world. Instead, forgive yourself, accept reality and move on. Acquire new skills and be easy on yourself. Note that past events help you make better choices in the future.
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Believe in yourself: Regrets can wear us down and could lower our confidence. You need to learn from past regrets by considering today’s situation and your surroundings and plan for a better future. Often starting small can help. Say you need to take charge of getting in shape, start walking for 30 min for everyday first and slowly increase the pace and duration. Don’t blame yourself if you cant be consistent. Two-step forward and one step backward are still progress. Try your best to make exercise a habit, just like brushing your teeth every day. Once it becomes a habit, you will do it automatically.
Regrets may hurt you, but obsessing over them may destroy you. Ignoring them completely may be a lost opportunity for growth. Life is a journey of joys and pains. One must acknowledge regrets and deal with them head-on.